Since my last post, I've been away from Dubai with no plans of returning, so it's about time for me to wrap up this blog. Here's what happened. I spent the summer of 2014 back home in Pittsburgh, and found myself increasingly reluctant to return to Dubai in the fall. My husband was very busy managing the Dubai office--even taking on a senior management role--with a major case going to international arbitration, so there was no way he would be picking up sticks in Dubai anytime soon. I, on the other hand, had very little keeping me there, other than my husband, which, granted, could be enough. However, with him working usually six days a week (including Fridays for the U.S. office and Sundays for the UAE office) and often into the evening hours to deal with his U.S. office, we did not have much time together, and I had way too much time on my own. Contrary to what I would have expected, what to do with all that free time in Dubai became a problem the longer I was there.
In the beginning, back in September 2009 when I first joined my husband in his short-term hotel accommodations, I was fully occupied with our quest for an apartment, furnishings and a car, while getting to know the other expat spouses like me through the American Women's Association. Having to move three years later to a new apartment also kept me busy for a while. Meanwhile I was doing a lot of traveling back and forth to the U.S. with my sons still in college and coming home to Pittsburgh during breaks. The back and forth was made easier by my ability to fly standby on United Airlines through my pilot sister's largesse. Getting to fly with her on a few of her trips to Dubai was the best part, and the rest was kind of fun, too, until it wasn't. When things get old, they get old fast.
The main issues with being in Dubai with more and more time on my hands? Hard to stay in touch with friends and family in the U.S., mostly due to the 8-9 hour time difference. By the time I was ready to reach out, it was usually nighttime in the U.S., and vice versa for folks on the U.S. side. Hard to stay connected with new friends in Dubai, because I was away so much and most of the people I met left within one to three years of arriving. The AWA meetings and events constantly involved meeting new people, which was fun and interesting, but difficult to develop relationships. All the women I met were incredibly warm and welcoming, often opening their house for lunches and dinners, so that part was really great. But I had no ongoing, close friends. The closest I came was a book club which met monthly, but then they asked me to leave when I missed too many meetings! Not much in the way of cultural or sporting events, apart from the occasional mega event like the Dubai Sevens, Tennis, World Cup (horseracing) and performers like Madonna and Justin Bieber (not to my taste). Given the lack of cultural offerings, I saw just one play and no concerts while in Dubai. The movie selections are not as extensive as in the U.S., unless you happen to be into Bollywood, and you can't be sure what you're seeing is even the full version due to censorship. I gave fleeting thought to taking a job when I was offered one at a local health agency for autistic kids, but I didn't want to be tied down like that in Dubai. I liked the flexibility of being able to leave and fly standby on a day's notice.
So in the fall of 2014 I didn't return to Dubai as I had done the previous years, with my husband's blessing. I signed up for a writing course, to see if I really wanted to finish writing a book I had started, based on the life story of a friend. (I didn't, and cured myself of the writing bug in the process.) I pulled out my resume, beefed up my LinkedIn profile and paid more attention to job postings on LinkedIn. A friend told me to check out the Indeed website, which I had never heard of. I found a few postings for jobs that sounded interesting and that I thought I could do, despite my 15-year leave from active employment. Fortunately, I had kept my lawyer's license active and in good standing, faithfully taking continuing legal education courses each year as required. Explaining my 15-year layoff seemed easy enough, as I spent it getting my two sons through high school and off to college before following my husband to Dubai.
I ended up applying for two, very different jobs. The first was a full-time, high profile position with the largest health care company in town. Coincidentally had I gotten that job I would have returned to the same floor in the same building where I started my legal career. While I felt the interview went well, I did not get the job, which was actually a relief as I was ill-prepared to go back to work full-time in a new field working with high level management. What was I thinking? But it was a helpful experience to prepare me for the second job interview, a much more manageable, part-time position for a well-regarded nonprofit. That job I was glad to be offered and quickly accepted, starting in early 2015. So now I had a "good" reason not to go back to Dubai. My husband seemed fine with it and even a bit impressed that I had actually gotten a job.
The anticipation, of course, was much better than the reality of going back to work, and now a whole new kind of fear and trepidation set in. What to wear, how to work the new systems, meet all the new people, learn new areas of law as need be. To make matters more difficult, I started out working in very cramped quarters, basically in the hallway elbow to elbow with the next person, not even a cubicle wall between us. That was only temporary, as we moved within two months to new space where I got my own cube. Fortunately, most of my worries were quickly relieved, and the new workplace has turned out to be very flexible and friendly. But work is work and not so much fun, which is why we get paid. The thrill was gone within a few months of starting, and I started to wonder what was I thinking, again. Now having stuck it out for six months, I can say that I'm glad I have the job, for which I am well enough paid with not a lot of stress. Being on my own in Pittsburgh, I would be at my wit's end by myself in the big house in Fox Chapel, where you need to drive four miles to get to the nearest store.
The worst part, though, is the separation, me, home alone--Maggie the dog is some comfort but hardly qualifies as human--while Neal trudges by himself through the desert of Dubai. Indeed, parting is such sweet sorrow. I'm hoping that frequent reports of the goings on at home will entice him to plan his exit strategy soon, so he can say goodbye to Dubai, too.
In the beginning, back in September 2009 when I first joined my husband in his short-term hotel accommodations, I was fully occupied with our quest for an apartment, furnishings and a car, while getting to know the other expat spouses like me through the American Women's Association. Having to move three years later to a new apartment also kept me busy for a while. Meanwhile I was doing a lot of traveling back and forth to the U.S. with my sons still in college and coming home to Pittsburgh during breaks. The back and forth was made easier by my ability to fly standby on United Airlines through my pilot sister's largesse. Getting to fly with her on a few of her trips to Dubai was the best part, and the rest was kind of fun, too, until it wasn't. When things get old, they get old fast.
The main issues with being in Dubai with more and more time on my hands? Hard to stay in touch with friends and family in the U.S., mostly due to the 8-9 hour time difference. By the time I was ready to reach out, it was usually nighttime in the U.S., and vice versa for folks on the U.S. side. Hard to stay connected with new friends in Dubai, because I was away so much and most of the people I met left within one to three years of arriving. The AWA meetings and events constantly involved meeting new people, which was fun and interesting, but difficult to develop relationships. All the women I met were incredibly warm and welcoming, often opening their house for lunches and dinners, so that part was really great. But I had no ongoing, close friends. The closest I came was a book club which met monthly, but then they asked me to leave when I missed too many meetings! Not much in the way of cultural or sporting events, apart from the occasional mega event like the Dubai Sevens, Tennis, World Cup (horseracing) and performers like Madonna and Justin Bieber (not to my taste). Given the lack of cultural offerings, I saw just one play and no concerts while in Dubai. The movie selections are not as extensive as in the U.S., unless you happen to be into Bollywood, and you can't be sure what you're seeing is even the full version due to censorship. I gave fleeting thought to taking a job when I was offered one at a local health agency for autistic kids, but I didn't want to be tied down like that in Dubai. I liked the flexibility of being able to leave and fly standby on a day's notice.
So in the fall of 2014 I didn't return to Dubai as I had done the previous years, with my husband's blessing. I signed up for a writing course, to see if I really wanted to finish writing a book I had started, based on the life story of a friend. (I didn't, and cured myself of the writing bug in the process.) I pulled out my resume, beefed up my LinkedIn profile and paid more attention to job postings on LinkedIn. A friend told me to check out the Indeed website, which I had never heard of. I found a few postings for jobs that sounded interesting and that I thought I could do, despite my 15-year leave from active employment. Fortunately, I had kept my lawyer's license active and in good standing, faithfully taking continuing legal education courses each year as required. Explaining my 15-year layoff seemed easy enough, as I spent it getting my two sons through high school and off to college before following my husband to Dubai.
I ended up applying for two, very different jobs. The first was a full-time, high profile position with the largest health care company in town. Coincidentally had I gotten that job I would have returned to the same floor in the same building where I started my legal career. While I felt the interview went well, I did not get the job, which was actually a relief as I was ill-prepared to go back to work full-time in a new field working with high level management. What was I thinking? But it was a helpful experience to prepare me for the second job interview, a much more manageable, part-time position for a well-regarded nonprofit. That job I was glad to be offered and quickly accepted, starting in early 2015. So now I had a "good" reason not to go back to Dubai. My husband seemed fine with it and even a bit impressed that I had actually gotten a job.
The anticipation, of course, was much better than the reality of going back to work, and now a whole new kind of fear and trepidation set in. What to wear, how to work the new systems, meet all the new people, learn new areas of law as need be. To make matters more difficult, I started out working in very cramped quarters, basically in the hallway elbow to elbow with the next person, not even a cubicle wall between us. That was only temporary, as we moved within two months to new space where I got my own cube. Fortunately, most of my worries were quickly relieved, and the new workplace has turned out to be very flexible and friendly. But work is work and not so much fun, which is why we get paid. The thrill was gone within a few months of starting, and I started to wonder what was I thinking, again. Now having stuck it out for six months, I can say that I'm glad I have the job, for which I am well enough paid with not a lot of stress. Being on my own in Pittsburgh, I would be at my wit's end by myself in the big house in Fox Chapel, where you need to drive four miles to get to the nearest store.
The worst part, though, is the separation, me, home alone--Maggie the dog is some comfort but hardly qualifies as human--while Neal trudges by himself through the desert of Dubai. Indeed, parting is such sweet sorrow. I'm hoping that frequent reports of the goings on at home will entice him to plan his exit strategy soon, so he can say goodbye to Dubai, too.
