Terms of Endearment

The proper terms of address for men and women can be controversial, and especially touchy for women growing up as I did in the early years of the feminist movement. Terms like "ladies," "girls" and "gals" were considered sexist and derogatory, in favor of the more neutral "women." The honorifics "Miss" and "Mrs." came to be frowned upon for women who chose not to be defined by marital status and technically were incorrect for women (like me) who chose not take their husband's last name. A new term "Ms." was invented to fill the gap, but being also the name of the leading feminist magazine, this title was not well-accepted and is usually ignored today, even by me.

Stopping for a few days in London on my way back to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving, I came across an article in the London paper suggesting that another nonsexist option would be to refer to both men and women as "sir." Apparently this would rid us of the offensive term "madam." I have had occasion to be called "sir," usually when I am on the telephone and presumably by accident since my speaking voice is somewhat deep. I definitely felt some affront, so this suggestion seems batty to me.

Which is why I am charmed by how the residents of Dubai deal with honorific titles and names. Their simple solution is to ignore last names, which can be quite difficult to master anyway given the many different nationalities who live here. They use only the first names, with Mister or Miss depending on gender. Thus, we are known as Mr. Neal and Miss Pam, which seems quite nice to me and easily done!

Thank God It's Thursday?

After living here for almost two months, it is still hard to get used to the differences. The Muslim holy day is Friday, so the work week here ends on Thursday. That means the weekend is on Friday and Saturday, and the work week starts again on Sunday. Thursday night is a big night out for expatriates, and for Muslims the big night out is Friday night. These tend to be the busy times in the malls and supermarkets, and best avoided as I now know. It definitely seems weird for Neal to head to the office on Sunday morning. (He still has to work on Fridays, too, since that's a work day for Pittsburgh. Not to mention the late hours he has to keep so as to participate in conference calls and meetings with the other offices, who are many hours behind Dubai time.)


Some of the differences involve unexplained mysteries. Why aren't there any electrical outlets in the bathroom? Do people have special dressing rooms where they shave and dry their hair? Why aren't there any sidewalks? Are people expected to drive everywhere and never walk? There are no clothes dryers here either, understandable because things dry instantly when placed outside, but that does require some extra effort that I am not used to. Plus the clothes and towels turn rock hard in the hot sun.

My brain is well exercised with the need to make frequent calculations and adjust my actions accordingly. The time difference from Pittsburgh is always on my mind--we were 8 hours ahead until recently, but without Daylight Savings Time we are now 9 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time. This is only convenient when the Steelers are playing on Monday night, since we can catch the second half when we get up on Tuesday morning. But when Grandma calls, early for her, at 3 p.m. Sunday afternoon, we are already sacked out in bed and miss her call. Trying to reach our sons in college before 2 or 3 p.m. on any given day is also hit and miss.


Figuring out just how hot it is requires even more math using the formula most of us learned in school. It helps to know that 9/5's equals 1.8 to use as the multiplier and then add 32. It also helps to remember that 10 degrees Celsius is 50 degrees Fahrenheit, 20 degrees C is 68 degrees F, 30 degrees C is 86 degrees F, 40 degrees C is 104 degrees F, and 50 degrees C is 122 degrees F. (Yes, it does get that hot, and by law all construction work outside is required to stop at that point.)

Figuring out how much something costs requires knowing the conversion rate. For dirhams to dollars, the current rate is 3.67, which I hope will never change since I won't be checking. Conversely, one dirham, abbreviated AED, is worth .27 USD. Dividing a price in dirhams by 3.67 is too hard, so I use 4. That means I start out thinking things are really expensive, looking at the big number in dirhams, but dividing by four I end up thinking they are a bit cheaper than they really are, more conducive to buying. I can fill the tank of the Ford Explorer for 100 dirhams, which seems pretty reasonable until I realize that I seem to be doing this every few days. Having to do double conversions can drive you nuts, say converting dirhams per litre of gas into dollars per gallon. I don't even try. I think they use gallons anyway. Since it's full serve here, I never look!


Some of the differences are pleasant surprises. Yes, they have full service gas stations (like New Jersey!), and they even clean your windshield, which really needs it, at some of them. There are spray hoses next to toilets in bathrooms, and there are drains in the floors of bathrooms and kitchens to facilitate cleaning. (There are no spray hoses for kitchen sinks, though.) The new TV's they sell here work with any country standard and voltage (at least that's what they told me.) The DVD players can be programmed to play DVD's bought in the US or here.

Other differences range from big problems to minor annoyances or curiosities. There are no street numbers so you have to know the name of the building and the roads or landmarks it is near to pin down the location. What road or exit will get you there is another puzzle to be solved. There is no home delivery of mail--all mail is sent to post office boxes. Appliances here often come with two prong plugs instead of the standard three prong plug, so you need a lot of adaptors. The good news here is that you can buy universal adaptors that will work with both UK and USA two prong plugs and apparently any other type of plug (rendering those ridiculously expensive adaptor sets they sell in airports completly unnecessary). The Muslim holidays are only approximate and are announced shortly before they happen based on moon sightings. Most restaurants outside of hotels do not serve alcohol, but they usually have delicious fresh juices and mocktails. They write the date here with day, month and then year, so November 10 is 10/11/2009, instead of 11/10/2009 as it is in the US. They will not honor your check if you write in two different colors of ink or you put in the wrong date, but they will call you first to let you know and you can argue with them about it. (On the positive side, the bank sends you an email letting you know when your checks have cleared.) You have to have a locally issued credit card to use for utility bills; otherwise you have to go somewhere and pay in cash.

Don't even think about bouncing a check here. Important, intelligent people have reportedly left the country to avoid having to deal with the ramifications of that offense.

In case you were missing the 80's, they still use pull tabs on soft drink cans. Just try to find Diet Dr. Pepper--I saw it once but haven't seen it again--Coke and Fanta have a lock on the market. Instant hot water pots and instant coffee are very popular, with no drip coffee makers to be seen. Shag carpets are making a big comeback, and I must say I'm tempted!

Speaking of Fiascos, Here's One of Note

Every day in Dubai brings a new fiasco. I started a post called fiasco of the day and was planning to add a new one every day. However, I soon bored of this effort as not all were noteworthy. Moreover, if one tries, as is wise, not to dwell on these unpleasant incidents, one is soon overtaken by the next and the prior one fades from memory. Even so, a few stick out so much that they warrant further notoriety. So, let's get this started with the fiasco of the safe (as requested by my bookish friend and follower, Nancy).

The story starts on Thursday, October 8 at 8:30 am. In fifteen minutes Mr. Neal (as he is called in Dubai) needs to deliver a big check for our new apartment. (As noted previously, rent in Dubai is payable a full year in advance, just in case you were thinking of leaving the landlord in the lurch.) The checkbook and passports are in the hotel safe. When Mr. Neal goes to open it, his secret code doesn't work. (He is positive he has the right code, by the way, since he uses the same one for everything.) Many tries later, a very frustrated Mr. Neal calls the concierge for help. A hotel employee soon appears with an electronic gizmo and tries to open the safe many, many times without success. Then the employee tells Mr. Neal that two days earlier the safe had been found open by the hotel maintenance staff when they came in for a routine call. He said the employee who found the safe open took an inventory of the contents, closed it and filed a report on the incident. Amazingly, no one thought to tell us about this! As it turned out, closing the safe rendered Mr. Neal's secret code inoperable, causing the current dilemma.

Seconds and minutes tick by as Mr. Neal harangues the hotel employee and his incompetence in failing to open the safe. Miss Pam (as I am called) hides in the bathroom after catching a glimpse of the now miserable employee being subjected to harsh verbal lashing, words indecipherable but meaning clear. The employee then tries again, and suddenly Mr. Neal's tone of voice softens. I emerge to find the safe is open! However, while our passports and emergency cash are indeed safe in the safe, the checkbook and several blank checks previously signed by Mr. Neal for Miss Pam's convenience now appear to be missing. Hotel employee wisely decides his job is done and makes a mad dash to leave.

Without the human buffer, recriminations now commence directly against Miss Pam, with Miss Pam being accused of 1) leaving the safe open (who else? certainly not Mr. Neal!), 2) leaving blank checks lying around, and 3) losing blank checks and, indeed, the entire checkbook. An immediate search of the premises by Miss Pam (Mr. Neal is too busy haranguing) uncovers a small pile near Mr. Neal's laptop that proves to be the missing checkbook and blank checks. Proximity to Mr. Neal's laptop and fact of Miss Pam's never having thought to use safe are extremely suggestive of Mr. Neal's guilt in the entire matter, but Miss Pam wisely remains silent. Time of discovery: 8:43 a.m. Time of appointment with agent to deliver check: 8:45 a.m. Despite a longish elevator ride from the 52nd floor (for which the elevator sometimes apologizes, "sorry to keep you waiting"), we meet our agent as planned.

No worries, as the Aussies like to say. In Arabic, the expression "mafie mushkila" seems more appropriate. It translates as "no problem," but they say that when you hear it you can most definitely assume that this is NOT the case.

Even better: all's well that ends well.

DUBAILAND Coming Soon!

I think of this place as "Dubailand" instead of just "Dubai" partly because it is so spread out, and also because the license plates here have Dubai and then the Arabic for Dubai which looks a lot like "L---D" with some extra squiggles. But "Dubailand" or its all-caps version "DUBAILAND" technically is the name of just one part of the city, albeit a very large part. It refers to the plan for a massive development, along the lines of Disneyland but much more ambitious, encompassing 3 billion square feet(!), including theme parks, culture and art, science and planetariums, sports and sports academies, well being and health, shopping and retail, and resorts and hotels.

Right now most of DUBAILAND is still on paper, but the headquarters office (a mere 180,000 sq. ft.) is now open, according to a message from CEO Mohammed Al Habbai on the DUBAILAND website. Visitors are invited to view a mini-DUBAILAND scale model (3,200 sq. ft.) and marvel at the two beautiful Bengal tigers which roam in the enclosed grounds. Seeing the tigers might be worth a visit in itself! I assume the project is on hold until the economy picks back up. I met an Aussie earlier this year who had been laid off from DUBAILAND but found a new job working for Sega Republic, which has a new theme park now open in the Dubai Mall.

Meet Salim!

This cartoon guy has appeared on banner signs along Sheikh Zayed Road, the central highway in Dubai. The signs say "Meet Salim, Your Cyber Security Advisor" (pictured). I was confused, as usual, at first due to the similarity of the name to "Salik." Like E-Z Pass in the US, Salik is the name of the toll road system here in Dubai. You have to get a card to put on your windshield and the toll is automatically deducted from your account. Salik is an Arabic word for open or clear, while Salim seems to be just another masculine Arabic name.

Once I realized that Salim was different from Salik, I was then puzzled as to how Salim differed from another cartoon character I have encountered while using the internet in Dubai. This other character, who does not appear to have a name, comes up when you try to access a website that is blocked in the UAE. He/she comes up with a warning to "Surf Safely! This website is not accessible in the UAE."

It is interesting to see what websites are blocked. A blog called Secret Dubai is blocked while one called One Big Construction Site isn't. (Maybe it has to have Dubai in the name to get monitored.) Also, I noticed that sites giving advice on how to circumvent the internet restrictions seem to be blocked only if they have VPN in the name (for virtual private network.) Apparently it is very easy to avoid the restrictions by using a VPN.

I had heard before I arrived that Skype was blocked. This may be a problem only if you try to download Skype in the UAE. I already had it on my computer and my iPhone when I arrived, and it works just fine. I am very happy to have it, as the rates for international calls, even with an international calling plan, are ridiculously high.

Salim is making personal appearances at schools and the like to talk with young people about using the internet safely. Whether these other topics will come up or be revisited remains to be seen.

A Good Show Even Without Sheikh Mo

We went to the inaugural Dubai Business Gala last night with 1,300 other people, not one of whom we knew beforehand, a slightly intimidating prospect. We arrived to be greeted like celebrities with cameras flashing and a very elaborate but welcoming Arabic fanfare. Emirati and expatriate business people mingled with diplomatic types in an international, multicultural extravaganza, with showcases of art, music, dance and cultural displays from all over the world. Mostly, there was a lot of networking, which Dubai prides itself in promoting. One is never without a pile of business cards to hand out and rake in. (Note to self: get cards made.) We were hoping to meet or at least get a look at Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the ruler of Dubai (aka Sheikh Mo). Unfortunately, Sheikh Mo was a no show and the honors went to a bro (actually, probably a cousin, but bro rhymes better).

As only nonalcoholic beverages were served, the audience seemed a bit subdued and the applause on the tepid side for the various speeches and performances. That did not take away from a very enjoyable evening, with lots to take in. My favorite was the elaborately garbed and golden-masked falconer who served as a living logo for the event. The falcon was huge and awesome. Having seen one up close, I trust I will never again make the mistake (as I have embarrassed myself by doing before) of confusing Dubai's beloved falcon with an eagle or turkey!

Strange About Change

There's a strange thing about change, as in coins, here: people don't want to give them to you. They always expect you to give them the change in coins. They are happy to give you bills, but they really seem to dislike handing out coins. For example, if the price is 12 dirhams and you hand them a twenty, they will hand you back a ten and expect you to give them 2 dirham coins. One time in this situation I started to walk away with the ten and was mystified when they said I owed them 2 until I realized what was going on. If you don't have the two coins, they seem really put out.

Maybe there's a shortage of coins. Maybe it's piling up in jars in people's apartments, like pennies in the US. Maybe people throw them away like my son does. I often find quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies in the trash can in his room. It's a family joke, that Kurt doesn't believe in change.