Terms of Endearment

The proper terms of address for men and women can be controversial, and especially touchy for women growing up as I did in the early years of the feminist movement. Terms like "ladies," "girls" and "gals" were considered sexist and derogatory, in favor of the more neutral "women." The honorifics "Miss" and "Mrs." came to be frowned upon for women who chose not to be defined by marital status and technically were incorrect for women (like me) who chose not take their husband's last name. A new term "Ms." was invented to fill the gap, but being also the name of the leading feminist magazine, this title was not well-accepted and is usually ignored today, even by me.

Stopping for a few days in London on my way back to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving, I came across an article in the London paper suggesting that another nonsexist option would be to refer to both men and women as "sir." Apparently this would rid us of the offensive term "madam." I have had occasion to be called "sir," usually when I am on the telephone and presumably by accident since my speaking voice is somewhat deep. I definitely felt some affront, so this suggestion seems batty to me.

Which is why I am charmed by how the residents of Dubai deal with honorific titles and names. Their simple solution is to ignore last names, which can be quite difficult to master anyway given the many different nationalities who live here. They use only the first names, with Mister or Miss depending on gender. Thus, we are known as Mr. Neal and Miss Pam, which seems quite nice to me and easily done!