What they don't tell you in the guidebooks

There are plenty of good travel guides for Dubai and the UAE, the most ubiquitous being the Dubai Explorer series (we have several copies, it being a popular gift for newcomers). But there are some things I have learned along the way that do not seem to make it in the guidebooks, things that I would have been very happy to know sooner rather than later. Here are a few, in no particular order:

• There is no "P" in the Arabic alphabet. For someone whose name begins with P, this is good to know. My name in Arabic thus becomes Bamela, or as I now like to call myself, Bam-Bam, for short.

• Dogs are not beloved or considered fine substitutes for children by Arabs the way they are in the USA or other countries. The reason was not apparent to me until I learned that Islam considers dogs unclean and anything a dog touches with its nose or saliva must be washed. This would certainly make it challenging to keep a dog in the house. (Dogs are permitted as watch or guard dogs, presumably kept outside, and the saluki "desert" dog is the breed associated with this area.) This probably explains why I have yet to see an Arabic person here with a dog. Needless to say, Dubai is not a dog-friendly place, so people with dogs may find it difficult to find housing that allows dogs and places for walking them. Many expats with families who live in private villas do bring their dogs over from the states, which is not too hard (for the humans, that is) with no quarantine required. Apparently cats are okay here, but I haven't seen many of them either.

• The Islamic holidays are floating and not always predictable, which can cause scheduling problems. They are officially declared based on a moon sighting a day or two in advance. There is no entertainment allowed (including eating at restaurants) until sunset (around 6:30 p.m.) on official holidays. Sometimes the government even moves the date on which a holiday is celebrated, to combine with a weekend for a longer break for public employees. People who were planning to have a day off this year for the Islamic New Year on December 7 discovered at the last minute that it would be celebrated two days earlier. The American Women's Association of Dubai had to reschedule its Christmas luncheon due to the unexpected holiday date change. A general corollary to the above: things may change at the last minute and often do.

• Having Friday off in Dubai instead of Sunday is not a good trade. This is because none of my husband's clients or colleagues in the states feels obligated to honor Friday as his day off. Of course, some of them may still believe my husband is handling their business from Pittsburgh. But it does make it hard to take two days off for the weekend, since he often has conference calls throughout the day on Friday and has to be in the office on Sunday.

• You better hold back that hand if you're a woman here. The western habit of shaking hands is fine if you're a man but can be problematic as far as women are concerned. Most Arab men refrain from shaking hands with women. What makes this even more strange is the fact that Arab men can often be seen holding hands! Think of it this way--same sex, okay to shake or hold hands; different sex, not okay.

• You better be careful where you point that camera. Dubai is a great place for taking amazing photos, but at some point an official looking person may come up to you and tells you photos are not allowed. Usually there are signs saying when photography is prohibited (such as on the public beaches) but sometimes there isn't a sign and you'll be told to stop anyway. This happened to me taking pictures around the Gate Building where my husband's office used to be. I also heard that the CEO of an American company had his camera confiscated after he took pictures of a government installation, and was asked to leave the country shortly thereafter.

• Being on a first name basis is not a sign of intimacy here. With so many different nationalities, it is easier to focus on first names and not bother with last names. At the hotel we stayed in when we first arrived, we became known as Mr. Neal and Miss Pam. The Arabic custom is to use the first name as a matter of course, so it is not a sign of friendship. If you are on a close basis with an Arab, you would show it by using Abu (which means "father of") and the name of his first born son (or daughter if no son). For example, a man named Mohammed with an eldest son named Zayed would be Abu Zayed to his friends.

• Any Arabic you try to learn beforehand will be useless. (Fortunately, it is not necessary to speak any Arabic at all to get by in Dubai.) The Arabic phrasebooks with the formal Arabic greetings are not helpful. The most useful word I have learned in Arabic, Marhaba, which means "Hello", I learned from a 10-year-old boy in the airport, after searching in vain in my phrasebooks for a simple greeting. On the other hand, it would be nice to know more everyday phrases, the alphabet and the numbers in Arabic, but this is difficult living in Dubai where English is always spoken and used everywhere on signs. A phrase that you may often hear expats use is "inshaa'allah", for God willing. This can be confusing--the first time a fellow American told me she was going home, inshaa'allah, I responded, you're going where? Another good word to know is "shukran" for thanks.

• Trying to economize by bringing stuff to Dubai from the U.S.A. sounds like a good idea, but isn't. The reason, I discovered, is that I have to keep taking things back and forth, and I often forget to do so. Eventually everything I need ends up in the other place. Better to just buy an extra set and forget about taking things back and forth. This saves on valuable luggage space as well.

• Being 9 hours ahead in time usually doesn't work in our favor, although sometimes it does. It makes for a long work day for my husband as his Dubai day starts in the morning but his U.S.A. clients only get started in the late afternoon and evening. It is kind of cool to wake up on Monday or Tuesday morning to find a Steeler game from the night before still in progress, but watching the entire game would require a 5:30 a.m. alarm, so you get the idea. It is also nice to know there's always a lot of time left in the day to make calls to the states. But it is not nice to get calls from the states in the middle of the night, which we have learned to ignore.